“You Don’t Change, You Just Think You Do.”

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
asters-garden
psychoticallytrans

I'm going to preface this post with that this is a pretty niche intracommunity issue, but it's been bugging me a while.

The right to define yourself as a queer person includes not only the right to claim labels that feel correct, but the right to reject labels that don't fit. That's a huge part of the whole point. However, some people seem to feel like being queer just means that we've made some different identity boxes to sort people into, and that sorting yourself wrongly means you need correction.

I, personally, am a GNC man. I wear skirts because they're comfy and trap heat in winter and long hair because I'm extremely vain about my hair. Someone once spent the better part of three hours arguing that I need to "at least" identify as a nonbinary man. Which is... not how anything works? I've identified as nonbinary in the past, but eventually realized that just wasn't correct for me, and moved into identifying as a binary man. I strongly support nonbinary people, but I don't happen to be nonbinary in any way. More commonly, people will decide that I'm "fem" or "femme", which... also not really? Those are loaded community words and I don't happen to identify with them. I'm GNC. That's not the same thing.

I also see this happen a lot with sexuality. It's one thing to look at someone going "I'm straight but sometimes... I wonder..." and introduce them to the incredible variety of mspec identities to see if anything strikes a chord. It's entirely another for someone to go "I'm pansexual." and some dick to roll up and start telling them they're biphobic for not saying they're bisexual, or for someone saying "I'm bisexual, and I'm not attracted to women." to have people telling them that they're not really bisexual. "Two or more" does not necessarily have to include both binary genders, or either of them.

Deciding someone else's personal labels based on what you think they should identify as is just plain rude, and insisting on them after they've objected is even more rude. Don't do it.